A LETTER FROM A READER

AT 61, MY DAUGHTER LOOKED AT MY JUMPERS AND SAID, MUM, YOU ONLY EVER WEAR THE SAME THREE COLOURS

I have never written anything like this before, and I want to say at the start that I am not a writer and I am not in the habit of telling other women what to wear.

But three different people asked me about a jumper last week, and I have now explained it enough times that it seemed easier to write it down properly.

It started last autumn. My daughter came over for lunch and, while I was making coffee, she opened the drawer where I keep my jumpers. She stood there for a moment and then said it.

Mum, you only ever wear the same three colours.

I laughed, and then I looked properly, and she was right. Navy, charcoal, black, and one grey cardigan I have had since before my youngest left home. Drawer after drawer of it. Not one single thing in there that anybody would describe as soft or special.

I did not choose that. That is the part I want to be clear about. Nobody decides to dress like that. It happens quietly, one practical purchase at a time, until one day your daughter opens a drawer and there it is.

HOW IT HAPPENS

I used to wear nicer things. In my forties I had a soft cream cashmere jumper I loved so much I wore it until the elbows went thin.

What changed was not me. It was the shops.

Somewhere along the way the high street decided that women over a certain age want to be practical above everything else. Go and look. Rail after rail of the same three shades, in the same slightly scratchy yarn, all of it described as easy or everyday or good value, which we all know by now is a polite way of saying nobody thought about you very hard.

And once that is all there is, you stop expecting anything else. You buy the navy one because it is fine. You wear it. Nobody says anything, which is rather the point.

WHAT I HAD WRONG

Here is the bit I got most wrong, and I think a lot of us have.

I had gone off cashmere completely. Whenever I tried one I decided it was either too thin, too expensive, or too “special” to wear for ordinary days. So I put it back and went home with another practical jumper.

It turns out that was never the material.

I have since paid proper attention to this, and the thing that makes a jumper feel tired is not the price. It is the feel of it against your skin, whether it pills after two washes, and whether it actually makes you feel put together or just covered up.

The same simple shape, in proper soft cashmere, in a colour that isn’t trying too hard, reads completely differently. It reads as a decision. That is the whole difference, and it took me until 61 to work it out.

THE JUMPER IS CALLED THE ARLINGTON

It is from The Mercer Sisters, a small British brand that has been quietly making clothes for women our age.

The jumper is called the Arlington. A pure cashmere sweater with a soft mock neck and neat ribbed trim. It comes in a few quiet colours. Nothing loud. Just soft and proper.

I ordered the one in soft cream. It arrived on a Tuesday. I took it straight out of the bag and put it on.

It is lighter than I expected, and warmer than it looks. The cashmere is soft enough that you forget you are wearing it, which on cooler mornings has mattered more than I thought it would. The cut is relaxed without being baggy. And it does not pill the moment you look at it the wrong way, which anyone who has owned cheap jumpers will appreciate.

That is really all there is to it. It is not complicated. It is just a jumper that somebody thought about.

WHAT HAPPENED AT LUNCH

I wore it for the first time to a friend’s birthday lunch, with ordinary trousers and my usual earrings.

Three women asked me where it was from. Three. One of them was Janet, who I have known for twenty years and who has never once commented on anything I have worn.

She said I looked like I had made an effort for once. I have decided to take that as a compliment.

What I noticed more than the compliments, though, was that I forgot about it. I did not spend the afternoon adjusting anything or wondering whether it looked too dressy. I sat down, I ate a very large piece of cake, and I did not think about what I had on once.

The next morning I put it straight back on to walk the dog, and felt completely myself in it. That is the rarest sort of jumper. The one you can wear to something slightly special and then wear out with a muddy Labrador, and feel right either way.

THREE THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SINCE

One. The quality is honest. It is proper cashmere, not the thin, scratchy kind that looks expensive in the photo and feels disappointing when it arrives. I wish more places would bother with that.

Two. You stop thinking about what you are wearing. The softness simply removes the question. There is no itching, no pilling after a week, no wondering if it looks cheap. It is a small thing and it changes the whole morning.

Three. It goes both ways. Earrings and a proper bag for lunch, or exactly as it is for the shops and the dog. And when the evenings start to turn cooler, it still looks intentional.

ABOUT THE PRICE

I want to be straightforward about this, because it was the thing that made me suspicious.

The Arlington is £39.95.

My first thought, honestly, was that there had to be a catch, because you can walk into any high street shop and pay more than that for a jumper that will pill by Christmas.

There is no catch that I have found. They are a small brand selling directly, so there is no department store taking a cut in the middle.

I did what I imagine you are doing now and went and read the reviews before I ordered. There are thousands of them. Not the suspiciously perfect five you see on some websites, which if I am honest made me trust it rather more. Real people, mixed opinions, mostly very good.

Then I ordered a second colour as well.

WHAT I WOULD TELL YOU IF WE WERE FRIENDS

If you and I were sat in the garden and you asked me, this is what I would say.

If you have spent the last few years reaching for the same dark jumpers, not because you particularly like them but because nothing else in the shops felt like you, then it is worth ten minutes of your evening to go and look.

Not because a jumper will change your life. It will not. But there is something in getting dressed in the morning and recognising yourself that I had quietly given up on, and I would rather you did not give up on it too.

Two practical things. The sizes that suit most of us tend to go first. And once this batch has sold through, that is it until the next delivery.

I have not reached for the navy one since last autumn.

Helen

Helen Brooks is 61 and lives in Surrey with a Labrador. She is not a fashion writer.

The Mercer Sisters London · Free UK delivery · 30 day returns

This page is an advertisement for The Mercer Sisters London.